*Originally Posted 2018*

Sometimes you just need a good kick in the ass along with some strong motivation to get something done.

Here I am in perhaps the worst shape of my life, no energy and anxiety ridden. Then endless drag of the workday and the exhausting joy of chasing a toddler around when you get home makes it easy to unwind with a jug of red wine and the TV. Early mornings consisting of the snooze button until the last possible moment.  I’ve become aware of the benefits of eating healthy over the past four or so years but have been pretty much neglecting that as of late. I would have brief love affairs with Whole 30 or Paleo diets, P90X and the gym but nothing you could consider a serious relationship.

The Karate-Kid-Crane-Kick-to-the-Butt-Cheek for me was it finally settling in that Child #2: The Sequel will drop at the end of the year. The question being, after our parenting sophomore effort begins, will I have even less energy? Will my sweet, saggy ‘Dad Bod’ increase by two as well? Truth be told, I don’t want to find out.

I must submit my video application for American Ninja Warrior come January 2019. I have 174 days to get ready. Being an avid watcher of the show, do I think that is enough time to prepare? Hell knawl! But I’m going for it anyway.

The plan: P90X3 then Insanity Max 30 after that. Seeing as how, like most of you, I work over 40 hours a week and have a loving family to attend, spending hours in the gym every day isn’t an option.

I joined Ninja Intensity (local Ninja Warrior Gym) that I will be able to embarrass myself in once a week.

Also, I’m going to stick with the Paleo diet as much as I can. Through previous experience experimenting with foods, I’ve discovered that Paleo works the best for me. Unfortunately, this means that my 3 weekly Bdubs lunches are dust in the wind.

I’ve come to find that People love success stories. People also LOVE train wrecks. This could turn out to be either one. Stay Tuned.

I will track my progression over the next 6 months and provide candid feedback on healthy eating and unbiased opinions on some of the most popular 30-minute workout series on the market. Skeptical about getting started on your journey (FitNass related or not)? I’M YOUR HUCKELBERRY

Wanna see someone throw themselves out there and crash and burn? Entirely possible.

Wanna see me actually get to Ninja Warrior and fail on the first obstacle? Conceivable.

Either way, we put the Schnoz to the Grindstone. This should prove to be an entertaining adventure.

-The Schnoz