*Originally Posted 2020*

This week signifies one full year since the heart-wrenching breakup of my twenty-five-year relationship with alcohol. What sparked my decision to cut out the substance that entered my life so many years ago? Welp, sit right back and I’ll tell you a tale.

Wiff and I were on a vacation last June with friends and the booze was flowing like the Salmon of Capistrano. I was on baby duty one night and I woke up for the feeding with a headache from hell and a 1000lb anxiety weight on my chest.  Holding a mushy 6-month-old staring at me with judging eyes while getting his nourishment was all I needed. It was one of those “I’ll never drink again moments” but what made this one different was that I made this promise to lil Max Halen (sweet name, I know) not myself. It came to the point where it was no longer about me.

Now, I am not a poster child for sobriety. I will not be able to rattle off cliché benefits or come at you with a holier than thou attitude. This is simply my current reality and experiences.

In the beginning, when my drinking sabbatical came up at social events, people were always asking me how I feel. The most common questions revolved around my energy and anxiety levels. Do I have more energy? Honestly, I cannot really measure that part. Wiff and I are still parent zombies. We wake up multiple times per night with the kids and an aging dog that can no longer ‘hold it’ until morning. I do know that this exhaustion was exponentially worse when adding in the wine groggs. Also, the anxiety of everyday life still exists, but it is more easily disposed without my body trying to rid the prior nights poison as well. I can tell you it is way easier to exercise and meditate away a 20lb anxiety minion instead of the 1000lb demon.

I know my memory has improved but sleep deprivation still affects the grey matter. I have yet to figure that part out. I can also say that my self-worth and confidence are riding high. Plus, the feeling of being  the weird sober guy at events isn’t even a thing anymore. It is weird to think that while going through something like this, the judgement from others was a pressing issue on the psyche. All of that is in the past now and I welcome the new person I am becoming- and that my friends, is well worth the journey.

Now I have new issue to tackle. Ever since my body does not get the Jesus Juice anymore, a new craving controls my cranium: Sweets. Instead of picking up a bottle of wine on my way home from work I must stop and get sugar…and lots of it. Ice cream, Mochi, Macarons and M&Ms now dominate most evenings. My meals throughout the day are still on par with my workout routines but I consume tons of calories with sugary goodness. I would probably be able to see if I had any abs hiding in there by now but I ain’t mad about it. My semi-pro expertise believes this new craving comes from the lack of sugar contained in the alcohol but hey, I will take the sweets over drinks any day of the week. I started to write a post about sugar back when I started this blog. I will finish it now in the next few weeks, but it will take a different spin as I struggle through my new cravings, so buckle up!

I am not alone in this difficult journey. Wiff has been there too, so I congratulate her as well! Accountability is key and I could not have done it with her motivation and support. So, when we mosey on up this week for our 5-year wedding anniversary, we will cheers some flutes of the most sugary beverage we can find.

The question I often get now while approaching this milestone is: “Will you ever drink again”. To this I can easily say “Nay”. I made it through one full year and successfully navigated many trials and tribulations: A J-Lo concert (if one can make it through that, anything is possible), a ski vacation with friends I hadn’t seen in years, an entire Detroit Lions football season, a global pandemic lockdown, birthdays, anniversaries and every other reason today’s culture calls for a celebratory beverage.

THE CHALLENGE

Throughout the past year, I consistently heard remarks like- “We thought about not drinking for a month” or “I wanted to do Dry January/Sober October.” So, I propose a challenge to thee, dear reader: Stop boozing for 30 days. Studies have shown that just 30 days of no alcohol can have some staggering benefits ranging from better sleep, clearer skin and weight loss to liver relief, reduced risk of cardiovascular disease and certain cancers.

Now keep in mind that everyone’s body responds differently and you may see all, some or none of the benefits mentioned above. The only way to find out is to give it a try! One thing I can guarantee that will happen after 30 days is that your bank account will certainly gain some weight. Let us take a quick look at “The Latte Factor” but revamped for booze in a middle school math problem format:

Problem #1: Lil’ Timmy drinks 2 bottles of cheap wine per week. During lunch once a week with his school buddies, Timmy enjoys a tall Blue Moon at Buffalo Wild Wings. If a bottle of cheap wine is $10 and a Blue Moon costs $6, how much does Lil’ Timmy spend per month getting sauced? How much per year? Remember: Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally and be sure to show your work for full credit.

(2×10+6)(52)/12 = $112.67 per month

(2×10+6)52 = $1,352.00 per year

Now, all of you that I’ve partied with in the past will agree that Lil’ Timmy is a choir boy compared to what we would actually put back on any given night out. When I did this exercise for myself, I found that I was averaging around $400 per month on booze. Now before you judge, download your bank account into Microsoft Excel- sort, add, and get ready to have your mind blown!

Schnoz Sober Month Tips:

• I do not recommend trying sobriety in conjunction with something like a Whole 30 diet or juice cleanse for your first time. Take it easy hotshot- give yourself a break. There is no need to try something as difficult as cutting out the drinks and piling on an intense diet on top of it. Start slow for a better chance at success.
• Partner up: Something like this is tough enough to do by yourself, accountability helps a ton.
• You Tube free guided meditations on cravings
• Read “The Alcohol Experiment” by Annie Grace

I have only brushed the surface on this topic and have plenty more to contribute so I am thinking a book is in order. If I continue at a Schnoz pace, I should have a book finished by 2035 so stay tuned.

Start the conversation below with any questions, comments, concerns or to grade my order of operations on the math problem. Share you experiences! It would be good to see how this experiment affects you. Don’t forget to enter your email in the box on the right to subscribe!

Cheers Ya’ll!!!